Started a discord server a couple of years back, and one of the rules is you can’t be mean to yourself. You don’t have to be nice to yourself, you just can’t be mean. If someone says something self-deprecating, they THEN have to say 3 nice things about themselves to make up for it. This was a steep and harsh learning curve because I can tell you NO ONE wanted to publicly say 3 nice things about themselves a second time (but also, hilariously, everyone else was very eager to inflict making their friends say nice things about themselves, because pretty much everyone wants their friends to be nice to themselves… Go ahead and think about that a minute and try to remember that you are that friend for others, and that they want you to be kind to you, too)
And… Actually it worked. It didn’t work just in the server either, multiple people admitted they caught themselves doing it in real life, and put themselves through saying the nice things to themselves about themselves. And you know, the server is a lovely place to be, these days. Watching people be kind to themselves had a great influence. Not being constantly exposed to people you like saying mean things about themselves actually makes it more pleasant to be there. More people voluntarily praise each other and themselves, and creativity and community remain plentiful. It’s contagious.
I stopped being mean to myself after seeing a post here which communicated the harm it can do, when you say something mean about yourself and then people who like or may look up to you hear it. When you’re a writer or something and you say you’re bad or that something you made is crap, any reader or writer or other creative doing the same thing as you that thinks you’re better at it than they are is being told (in their minds) that they’re worse and their creation is worse crap. That’s not a message I ever want to send, that is not a cruelty I ever intended to inflict even unwittingly. So I stopped.
And holy SHIT does it make a difference. Not even being nice, but just not being actively mean to yourself. Make a pact with some friends if you’re having a hard time stopping on your own. The first time you have to claw your way through saying nice things about yourself in front of someone else after they pointed it out to you will change you.